After I moved out (January 30, 2006), formally separated, and eventually divorced (December 14, 2006) my (now ex-)husband, I took some time off to figure out how the hell I actually ended up in that marriage because I really, really, never want to do or go through that again. I did lots and lots of prayer and meditation, crying, talking with the support system and sponsor, went to lots of meetings, and ended up in therapy. During that time, I avoided anything that even resembled a potential romantic anything. In fact, if I even was even remotely attracted to a guy, I (mentally) ran screaming away, far far away. I was in a place where I couldn't trust myself or my instincts.
After much work, I realized that I had some things to deal with and work through that (of course) had nothing to do with the ex-husband, and everything to do with family of origin stuff (doesn't it always?).
November 2008: I decided it was time I dipped my toe into the pool of dating and romantic relationships. At the suggestion of the therapist, I mentioned to my friends that I was possibly, potentially thinking about, you know, maybe, sort of, well, in the near future, getting back out there. In the dating world. To meet men. For dates. And whatnot.
I joined eHarmony, filled out the 6 pages of questions and waited. I'm glad to see I'm not so screwed up eHarmony rejected me (despite those chemistry.com ads, I did not steal library books). I started getting communication requests and hence, my sucky-second job started.
After a few weeks of emails, I worked up the courage to see if anyone wanted to meet for coffee. Because coffee is way less scary than, you know, food. Like lunch or dinner. Or, good lord, breakfast. Sneakily, my coffee date slid into a lunch date (I mistakenly said noon).
*Cue the chorus*
I'm going on a date tomorrow.
*End cue*
Sure, it's only lunch (that's what T said on the phone. Already - more well-adjusted than I in this particular area). But what the heck, I have to start somewhere.
So what exactly is the next step after I dip my toe? Submerging the foot? Wading up to my waist? Does it depend if I wear make-up and heels or not? Questions, questions, questions.
I'm so clueless about this stuff.
Posts
Introducing Maya
6 years ago
3 comments:
How was the date???
It was a good date, but I don't think I'll see him again. The company was pleasant, food was good, restaurant was nice. But there were some warning flags I noticed during the email phase and I wanted to see if my instincts were right when we met in person. (And they were.) But it was definitely a date. Food was involved, he paid (although I offered, and then offered to leave a tip at least) and I even wore make-up. At least the first date post-divorce is now over and done with.
Now that you got your feet wet, let the fun begin! Enjoy your journey in dating. :)
Post a Comment