Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Update from Me!

I've been busy doing life stuff and not chained to my laptop avoiding school work, work, and program stuff.

Although the procrastination does come out every now and then.

Currently, I'm in New Orleans getting ready to finalize my divorce from Dean tomorrow. It's been a long process that officially started January 23, 2005 (two weeks after my 33 birthday - oh joy) when I moved out and told him I was leaving. In reality, it started sometime in October, 2005 when I realized Dean came back to the house after evacuating for Katrina, and I wanted to stay in Houma on a friend's couch. I did lots of praying and meditating, we went to a marriage counselor, and I did everything I could to attempt to fix my side of the street, but it's hard to keep a marriage going when only one person is interested in trying to address and come up with a mutually agreeable solution. So I left.

I've talked with my sponsor through the whole process and afterwards, and even though I think I'm done doing step work and looking at my part in the relationship, something else always pops up. I don't know when this process will be done, if it is ever done, really, but I know the only hope I have to some sort of happiness and peace in the future is if I keep at it.

So I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Harahan (suburb of New Orleans), writing out the Story of Jennifer and Dean so that I can get help seeing things clearly. And let me tell you, it's not pretty. Pretty messy and ugly, maybe, but not pretty in the I-wish-I-could-keep-deluding-myself-it-was-all-him-and-not-me way. Damn this rigorous honestly thing.

But I'm realizing that there are things in my past before I ever met Dean that complicated our relationship and are complicating things for me today still. And the scared resentful part of me wonders if those things will ever go away or at least recede far enough in the background that I can have a chance of a healthy relationship. And the part of me that understands and accepts the program as a universal truth that everything happens for a reason, and I don't have to understand everything in my life to learn from it. And then I go back to the scared part of me that wants to run screaming from the world and hide in my bed.

So I don't know how this will turn out. And I don't know if I'll ever get married again or end up in long-term romantic relationship. I've had people tell me that it will happen for me, that I'm a good person and stuff like that is supposed to happen for people like me.

Of course, those are the same people that tell me I'll get promoted at work, and so far I'm 3 for 3 for getting passed over. So I've learned as much as I want something, or other people want something for me, or as much as everyone else and I think I "deserve" something, it's not up to us mere mortals. There is a plan for me, and I don't get to have a say in it which sometimes just really pisses me off.

So I keep plugging away at this thing called life one day at a time doing the best I can. And sometimes that's being a useful member of society who cares about others and tries to do my Higher Power's will. And sometimes that means I stay home and absolutely refused to go to a meeting and do the next right thing.

All I know is, the $2000 I spent hiring a divorce lawyer was the best two grand I've ever spent in my life.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Spam Part III

And update:

So far I've received invites to meet Hispanic singles, Catholic singles, and Asian singles in my area. Since I live in the greater DC metropolitan area, there is a very good chance I could actually meet these people if I really wanted to.

But I don't.

But it's nice to know that Spam doesn't discriminate between race or religion. And, just so you know Spam is equal opportunity, I got a solicitation to meet Sex Addicts for Dating!

Now there is a pool of highly undesirable dating potential. I think I'll pass, thanks.

The Greatness of YouTube

Here are two examples of why YouTube should stay a free website for people's own use.

Office Space Trailers Recut:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGNs7QMeV7E and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlA-OsT25mw&mode=related&search=

Hilarious.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Me 0; Cold Weather 1

I've become a serious weather wimp. The last 7 years I was south of I-10 in New Orleans. For two years before that, I was in Seattle. I've had to whip out wool sweaters about 10 tens in the last 9 years and I'm still wearing the Gore-tex jacket and LL Bean Fleece I bought at an outlet mall 10 years ago.

This morning like at idiot, I walked outside to the vehicle on the way to work wearing my flip-flops. I can attribute this illogical decision to a few things:

1. I just came back from a week in New Orleans where I sweated in 75 degree and 65% humidity weather.
2. I got very little sleep since I drove around Saturday night/Sunday morning in Bristol, VA at 1 am looking for a wireless internet router I could piggy back off of. The La Quinta's router went out, and I had to post to a newroom for my class.
3. Trouble kept me awake with his coughing which is definitely not kennel cough since he's gotten the vaccination.

All I can say is, I swapped out my shoes at the vehicle, and I'm digging out my ten year old sweaters. And I'm fearfully anticipating snow that actually sticks to the ground longer than a few hours.

Come Winter! I dare you to freeze me out! I dare you!

Spam Can Listen

Finally! The Spam Gods have heard my plea from my last post as found here. I've received an invitation to Meet Interracial Singles Today! Since I am of Asian decent, are they inviting me to meet someone of a different race? Is the interracial single a combination of caucasian and asian? Am I the interracial single people are coming to meet? Questions and more questions ... At least my potential dating pool has expanded. I'm still wondering where the Anarchist Singles are though. They sure would be exciting.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Greatness! "Dance your cares away, Worries for another day, Let the music play ..."

Good news for all your Fraggle Rock fans. The Jim Henson Company is in developments for a full-length Fraggle Rock movie.

The link to the story is here: http://www.muppetcentral.com/news/2006/101906.shtml

Wembley rocks.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Joys of Spam

Email that is, not the processed luncheon meat.

One of the joys of getting elected to Advisory Council after ICYPAA 48 is that I've quadrupled the amount of spam I receive. It's come to the point I enjoy reading the subject lines to see how creative and random the headings can be. The trend is mostly YOUNG GIRLS! with a combination of wet adjectives and/or animals. Or the cleverly disguised p*nis or two letters transposed like fcuking. And then there are always the anatomy (and I don't mean boobs) enlargement or stamina ads. Why I would want to look into that, I have no idea. I'm a girl for chrissakes! If I'm with someone who wants or needs that stuff, he can do the looking around on the internet, not me.


And now they have targeted me for my dating habits (or lack there of as the case may be). I'm not sure how, but I've gotten numerous emails about meeting Black Singles in My Area! Not that I have anything against meeting Black Singles (which are definitely better than meeting Black Unavailable-in-a-Long-Term-Relationship or Black Marrieds), but what about the White Singles? Hispanic Singles? Asian Singles? Anarchist Singles? I mean really, I'm separated now. I don't need to be limiting my dating pool. Bring it on, baby!

I had one the other day with the subject line of: Guten Tag, Jennifer. Hey, someone who knows me! I clicked on it, and dammit, more help for my "girth."

Great. Now I have about another thousand spam emails to expect. Spam away!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Notes from the Road

Thursday I dropped off the boxers at Petsmart and began my 1071 miles journey from Northern Virginia to Petit Jean State Park outside of Morrilton, AR. That's right, Arkansas. I started about two hours after I wanted to and began to stress out and berate myself for being always late. Then I realized my only commitment/responsibility was to be at the park by Friday late afternoon and to get there without killing myself or anyone else on the road. So I said,"Fuck it. No one is waiting on me," and headed out.

The drive was absolutely beautiful. The leaves have started changing and turning yellows, golds and reds and I climbed past the Smoky Mountains heading west. There is just something about starting a long road trip with a road atlas, cooler full of beverages (I prefer the non-adult kind) and a bag of pizzeria pretzel combos that just makes me excited about the journey ahead. Perhaps this stems from my senior year in high school's desire to wander around the country after graduation, working in little diners and restaurants and saving money before moving onto the next town, and seeing America. Instead, I joined the military a month after graduation and joined that rat race until now. I blame it all on reading The Dharma Bums senior year in lit class.

I tried to live out of my car and wander the US a few years back before I went to grad school, but since I was never selected for that program, that dream died on the vine. I did purchase a nice big vehicle to do that which came in handy moving to DC with the dogs and cats.

Anyway, I traveled through Northern Virginia, through Tennessee and into Arkansas. I stopped at a La Quinta Thursday night and checked in with about 20 golfers. I thought they were crazy since the weather had turned, and the nice 75 degrees temperature I enjoyed with my short sleeved T-shirt and flip flops leaving VA caused me to freeze my butt off in the ensuing 48 degree temperature. Every time I got our of the vehicle to gas up, people looked at me strangely in my flip flops. At least my toenails were painted a nice color. Tabitha Hughey (wife of a guy I worked with in Houma, LA) would be pleased I didn't look "white trash" (in her own words).

Just on a side note, La Quinta apparently means the following:
  1. Free high speed internet
  2. Pets stay for free
  3. Complimentary continental breakfast

I don't remember a lot of high school Spanish, but La Quinta sure means a lot of things in English.

I had a great time seeing all my friends from New Orleans and Louisiana at ARKYPAA. Petit Jean State Park is just beautiful and the view overlooking the Arkansas River Valley is one I could look at forever. I headed out on Sunday at 1230 which was only two and a half hours after I started the process of saying goodbye. I always hated saying goodbye before because it felt like I would never see these people again and our relationship would never be the same again. I've realized that for every person who leaves, it means there is just another person I was meant to meet and share my life with. So as sad as I was leaving Arkansas and about 30 people I've seen on a regular basis for the past three years bidding for and hosting ICYPAA, I know I will see them again even though life has changed for all of us.

I know I have true friends and made lifelong relationships if I can see someone after a significant amount of time has passed since we have seen or spoken to each other, and it feels like no time has passed. We can pick up right where we have left off. I've got two friends from high school who are like that, and my sister. Being in the program has given me a lot more people like that in my life and I am grateful for the gifts of being their friends.

I'm in New Orleans right now. I think everyone down here would have kicked my butt if I traveled all the way to Arkansas and didn't come down and see them. But I have a week to wander around, take care of some work stuff, catch up on school work, and generally enjoy myself not being on a schedule or responsible to anyone. Freedom to be. Joy.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Son of a Bitch!

I just typed a lengthy post about three movies and four books I read, and then Boom! Gone.

Dammit.

I'll write it again when I get the energy.

Crap.

Best Intentions and All ...

I tried to post during September, but it seems where I truly get the inspiration to write is when I'm avoiding something. In this case, homework or a paper that is due. Now, I did do some procrastinating in the month of September by cooking, baking and TV watching. Don't ask me why, but I had a sudden urge to watch the last two seasons of Charmed while they replayed on TNT since I never saw the series finale. And if that isn't true procrastination, then I don't know what is.

On the other hand, I've baked two different kinds of chocolate cupcakes with fancy icing I piped through a cake decorating bag, vegetarian chili, cornbread with creamed corn and green chilis, and tomato-mushroom eggplant cassorole. The people at work are pretty happy with my desire to avoid unpleasant tasks at home. At least someone is benefitting from my laziness.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

It Never Fails ...

I really will do anything so that I can procrastinate as long as possible from doing work. In this case, it's Statistics homework which I really didn't like the first time as an undergrad.

You may have noticed my sudden rash of new posts. If you came to my apartment, you would see that I have about half my 12+ boxes of books unpacked and stuff strewn about while I figure out where to put everything.

And still I have homework waiting for me ...

Below is a picture of the beautiful Toffe Crunch Caramel Cheesecake I baked from scratch last week. It was my first one and the people at work scarfed it up in a few hours, so I can safely assume it was good.

This is a picture of me driving to Virginia wearing my dog walking hat. All I can say is, I sweated while moving 2 boxers and 2 cats over 1000 miles in the middle of summer during the heat wave to hit North America. I really didn't care what I looked like.

I donated my waist length hair to Locks of Love which makes wigs for kids with cancer. Here's the new do which still feels too short. But my hair grows quickly, and in a few months I should be able to put it up nicely while in uniform.

I'm finally living somewhere that plays Car Talk, Whad'ya Know, This American Life and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on the weekends. Greatness.

Man Push Cart

On meetup.com, I joined a Film Club group that meets at a local independent movie theater to watch pre-run movies and join in on a discussion afterwards with a film critic.

*Spoilers*

This past Sunday, I met up with some folks and watched Man Push Cart. It's a story of a Pakistani immigrant who works as a breakfast cart vendor in Manhattan and tries to survive in the big city while morning the death of his wife. Ahmed gets different opportunities to break out of the isolation and emotional cold he lives in, but somehow, things never work out.

I'm not one of those people who has to have a happy ending in a movie. I loved the ending to the the director's cut of the Butterfly Effect. It was sad but stayed true to the spirit of the movie. However, Man Push Cart has no redeeming qualities, no hope and no resolution for Ahmed. It felt more to me like a slice of life film which can be a meandering, slow film with little plot since many times the lack of action or plot movement is the point of a day in the life. But Ahmed's story is just plain painful without every explaining or letting the audience know enough to join in on the pain and loneliness. Instead, we are subjected to his misery without ever having the chance to understand how he got to that point in his life and share his emotions. We just get beaten over the head with it.

If two plot points were revealed, I would have happily joined Ahmed in his journey. But, unfortunately, these plot points were not revealed, and so I was left feeling sad, depressed, unsettled, confused and wanting more information.

** out of *****

Observations from Northern Virginia

Today marks my 1 month anniversary checking into my new unit in DC. Trekking back and forth to work has afforded me the opportunity to notice some differences between DC and New Orleans.

Mainly, people at work tell me about the ghetto that I have to drive through to get to our building. The area is so terrible, people break into the cars, etc. However, I've noticed that the small yards in front of the tongues have nicely trimmed bushes and vegetation, and some even have blooming flowers. There is no garbage strewn about willy-nilly, and people's garbage cans are nicely upright and actually contain garbage with the lids securely fastened. Some laundry hangs from the clothesline, but there isn't any random junk stored outside. All in all, if this is a "bad neighborhood" in DC, then at least they are courteous and tidy neighbors unlike the "bad neighborhoods" in New Orleans.

Drivers in Northern Virginia like to go, on average, 5 to 10 miles below the speed limit. This wouldn't be such a driving travesty if these slow drivers stayed to the right. But no. The Slow Drivers of Northern Virginia like to foster this law-abiding speed amongst us all, and like to drive 10 miles below the speed limit in all lanes of traffic, including rush hour.

Conversely, on the weekends, people will drive at a minimum of 80 mph on the highway when there is no traffic. Perhaps they feel that since people can actually drive on the highway instead of crawling during rush hour, they have to get there as fast as possible to make up for the hours spent on the road during the week.

So if you drive in Northern Virginia, go about 50 or 80. But don't drive in between. They'll run you over.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Houma, LA to Alexandria, VA via Jacksonville, FL, Orlando, FL and Santee, SC.

I finally made it to the Washington DC area late last week with two boxers (Maggie and Trouble), two cats (Beaumont and Ballard), and one 4' x 8' U-Haul trailer in tow. The following is a list of things I learned on the one-way 1600 mile trip.

1. If you think you might need the 5' x 8' trailer, get it. Don't look at it and say, "There is no way I'm going to fill that, give me the smaller one" like I did. Mine was freaking packed and I even threw out some stuff mid-trip in the La Quinta dumpster midway in Jacksonville, FL. La Quinta's natiowide accept dogs in their hotels. And La Quinta is spanish for a lot of things.

2. Stopping every two hours to pee is mandatory when drinking my favorite beverage: Arizona Green Ice Tea. Unfortunately, this doesn't match up with the gas fill up I needed every 2-1/2 hours.

3. I suck at backing up a trailer. Enough said.

4. My dog Trouble does not like other dogs. In fact, I have a very nice skidded knee from wiping out in the concrete while the 75 lb monster literally hopped around on hind legs trying to say "hi" to an Alaskan Husky. It's nicely scabbed over by the way.

5. I've reduced the time I can spend around my parents from 2-1/2 days to 1-1/2 days (this visit) to probably about six hours for the next one. I've done lots of prayer and meditation on this, worked steps and looked at my part. Sometimes, the best thing I can do is not put myself in harm's way and around toxic people. The upshoot from this visit was that I got very punchy and hysterically laughed (not in a rip roaring good way. More like an Airplane! slap me across the face way) at not funny things in the La Quinta parking lot when my sister finally caught up with me. This was while I realized just how much crap I lugged with me from Harvey and tossed some.

6. Eating 1 lb of cherries on a road trip is a very bad idea.

7. I really really did not want to leave Louisiana. I blubbered like a big baby for five minutes when making my going away speech at work in Houma, cried at Sinai, my last regular meeting in New Orleans, and avoided doing any packing or sorting until the last possible minute. I guess living in New Orleans for 7 years allowed me to put down some roots which I had avoided my first four years sober. I hate saying goodbye, I'm horrible about staying in contact with people, and I guess HP wants me to learn how to do both since he gave me the opportunity to move out of the area despite my wanting to get transferred from Houma back to New Orleans. Well, HP and the Coast Guard assignment officer anyway.

8. Sometimes Mapquest's directions are not accurate.

9. When a billboard says, "over 1200 rooms and 20 restaurants available," this means that one hotel will allow dogs. I had to smuggle in the cats, but they didn't do any damage.

10. Asking the Jefferson Parish Water Department on Thursday to turn off your water on Monday means they will turn it off on Friday morning at 0600. I unfortunately discovered this when I took my morning pee. At least I didn't get naked and in the shower first. But there is no way I will be getting back my deposit since I couldn't do any cleaning other than vacuuming. Oops.

11. Visiting my sister and getting her head cold as soon as I got into Virginia really really sucks. I did nothing but sleep, drink tea, and walk the dogs every four hours for a week. I very stupidly went into work anyway to get settled and start the process for the DC housing money versus Houma, LA (which is significantly more money) to kick in, and I apologize to anyone I passed sickness and germs too. This was also when I wiped out on the concrete with Trouble and Maggie.

12. Hmmm. I think that's it. Oh yeah, I had to buy a laptop since the computer wrapped up in a carpet and stowed (very securely I thought) in the trailer doesn't work now. I will get all my work done from MBA 530. Really.

13. Monk and Psych are the best things on TV in the summer. When the heck is Battlestar Galactica on again?!?

14. I have no idea who Dane Cook is, but I watched all episodes of his Tourgasm, and he is freaking hilarious. And cute.

Okay, my list degenerated to just ramblings. Oh well. I'm here, I'm connected, and I'm awake. I'm keeping my expectations very simple right now.

Jennifer

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Biking on the West Bank Sucks - Stupid Wankers

Yesterday when I biked back to Firestone to pick up my vehicle, I realized just how much I was putting my life into my own hands.

Apparantly, the West Bank doesn't think sidewalks along one of the most busy streets is a good idea. There were some in front of the businesses, but going over those stupid little bridges over the canals and along the golf course, there was nothing. It seemed to me that poor people who have to ride the bus and have no vehicle to drive shouldn't be cruising around the neighborhoods that border the golf course since there is no place for them to walk along the road.

It really made me mad. Here are some pictures I took documenting my journey.

The below picture has my women's size 7 flip-flop in the picture to give you an idea how narrow that bridge was. Notice there was no shoulder to really ride on either. And before you say anything, there was no shoulder on the other side of the road where I should have been able to ride along with traffic. And no sidewalk over there too.


Another view of no shoulder, no sidewalk.

Here is another very narrow bridge. There was a shoulder, but I was going opposite traffic. And there wasn't a place to cross unless I wanted to dart across eight lanes of traffic.

Again, notice no shoulder and lots of debris to hinder a biker minding her own business.

This next one was my favorite. One of my friends, Lauren, told me when her then boyfriend-now husband Neill broke his leg, she was shocked at how many sidewalks in New Orleans didn't have ramps going into the curbs. She wondered how people in wheelchairs and motorized chairs got around. This explains the people who just ride along the side of the road during traffic.

Just what were the ramps over the cuub supposed to lead to? If you had a wheelchair, unless it had some off road tires on it, getting over the curb wouldn't do much since there is GRASS along the road and no sidewalk. This has to be the most pointless thing I saw all day. And I surfed around myspace.com a lot yesterday, and saw some pretty inane things. This next photo topped them all for stupidity.

I don't know about George Bush and black people, but there is one thing I've learned while living in New Orleans: The average law abiding, tax paying citizen doesn't give a crap about people who are too poor to have a car and ride the bus. Or have to walk, roll or ride a bike to get to where they are going.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

You never know who's looking

From the June 11, 2006 edition of the New York Times.

Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center: When a Risque Online Persona Undermines a Chance for a Job.

Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2006 The New York Times Company

When a small consulting company in Chicago was looking to hire a summer intern this month, the company's president went online to check on a promising candidate who had just graduated from the University of Illinois.

At Facebook, a popular social networking site, the executive found the candidate's Web page with this description of his interests: ''smokin' blunts'' (cigars hollowed out and stuffed with marijuana), shooting people and obsessive sex, all described in vivid slang.

It did not matter that the student was clearly posturing. He was done.

''A lot of it makes me think, what kind of judgment does this person have?'' said the company's president, Brad Karsh. ''Why are you allowing this to be viewed publicly, effectively, or semipublicly?''

Many companies that recruit on college campuses have been using search engines like Google and Yahoo to conduct background checks on seniors looking for their first job. But now, college career counselors and other experts say, some recruiters are looking up applicants on social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Xanga and Friendster, where college students often post risque or teasing photographs and provocative comments about drinking, recreational drug use and sexual exploits in what some mistakenly believe is relative privacy.

When viewed by corporate recruiters or admissions officials at graduate and professional schools, such pages can make students look immature and unprofessional, at best.
''It's a growing phenomenon,'' said Michael Sciola, director of the career resource center at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Conn. ''There are lots of employers that Google. Now they've taken the next step.''

At New York University, recruiters from about 30 companies told career counselors that they were looking at the sites, said Trudy G. Steinfeld, executive director of the center for career development.

''The term they've used over and over is red flags,'' Ms. Steinfeld said. ''Is there something about their lifestyle that we might find questionable or that we might find goes against the core values of our corporation?''

Facebook and MySpace are only two years old but have attracted millions of avid young participants, who mingle online by sharing biographical and other information, often intended to show how funny, cool or outrageous they are.

On MySpace and similar sites, personal pages are generally available to anyone who registers, with few restrictions on who can register. Facebook, though, has separate requirements for different categories of users; college students must have a college e-mail address to register. Personal pages on Facebook are restricted to friends and others on the user's campus, leading many students to assume that they are relatively private.

But companies can gain access to the information in several ways. Employees who are recent graduates often retain their college e-mail addresses, which enables them to see pages. Sometimes, too, companies ask college students working as interns to perform online background checks, said Patricia Rose, the director of career services at the University of Pennsylvania.

Concerns have already been raised about these and other Internet sites, including their potential misuse by stalkers and students exposing their own misbehavior, for example by posting photographs of hazing by college sports teams. Add to the list of unintended consequences the new hurdles for the job search.

Ana Homayoun runs Green Ivy Educational Consulting, a small firm that tutors and teaches organizational skills to high school students in the San Francisco area. Ms. Homayoun visited Duke University this spring for an alumni weekend and while there planned to interview a promising job applicant.

Curious about the candidate, Ms. Homayoun went to her page on Facebook. She found explicit photographs and commentary about the student's sexual escapades, drinking and pot smoking, including testimonials from friends. Among the pictures were shots of the young woman passed out after drinking.

''I was just shocked by the amount of stuff that she was willing to publicly display,'' Ms. Homayoun said. ''When I saw that, I thought, 'O.K., so much for that.' ''

Ms. Rose said a recruiter had told her he rejected an applicant after searching the name of the student, a chemical engineering major, on Google. Among the things the recruiter found, she said, was this remark: ''I like to blow things up.''

Occasionally students find evidence online that may explain why a job search is foundering. Tien Nguyen, a senior at the University of California, Los Angeles, signed up for interviews on campus with corporate recruiters, beginning last fall, but he was seldom invited.

A friend suggested in February that Mr. Nguyen research himself on Google. He found a link to a satirical essay, titled ''Lying Your Way to the Top,'' that he had published last summer on a Web site for college students. He asked that the essay be removed. Soon, he began to be invited to job interviews, and he has now received several offers.

''I never really considered that employers would do something like that,'' he said. ''I thought they would just look at your resume and grades.''

Jennifer Floren is chief executive of Experience Inc., which provides online information about jobs and employers to students at 3,800 universities. ''This is really the first time that we've seen that stage of life captured in a kind of time capsule and in a public way,'' Ms. Floren said. ''It has its place, but it's moving from a fraternity or sorority living room. It's now in a public arena.''
Some companies, including Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Ernst & Young and Osram Sylvania, said they did not use the Internet to check on college job applicants.
''I'd rather not see that part of them,'' said Maureen Crawford Hentz, manager of talent acquisition at Osram Sylvania. ''I don't think it's related to their bona fide occupational qualifications.''

More than a half-dozen major corporations, including Morgan Stanley, Dell, Pfizer, L'Oreal and Goldman Sachs, turned down or did not respond to requests for interviews.
But other companies, particularly those involved in the digital world like Microsoft and Metier, a small software company in Washington, D.C., said researching students through social networking sites was now fairly typical. ''It's becoming very much a common tool,'' said Warren Ashton, group marketing manager at Microsoft. ''For the first time ever, you suddenly have very public information about almost any candidate.''

At Microsoft, Mr. Ashton said, recruiters are given broad latitude over how to work, and there is no formal policy about using the Internet to research applicants. ''There are certain recruiters and certain companies that are probably more in tune with the new technologies than others are,'' he said.

Microsoft and Osram Sylvania have also begun to use networking sites in a different way, participating openly in online communities to get out their company's messages and to identify talented job candidates.

Students may not know when they have been passed up for an interview or a job offer because of something a recruiter saw on the Internet. But more than a dozen college career counselors said recruiters had been telling them since last fall about incidents in which students' online writing or photographs had raised serious questions about their judgment, eliminating them as job candidates.

Some college career executives are skeptical that many employers routinely check applicants online. ''Myobservation is that it's more fiction than fact,'' said Tom Devlin, director of the career center at the University of California, Berkeley.

At a conference in late May, Mr. Devlin said, he asked 40 employers if they researched students online and every one said no.

Many career counselors have been urging students to review their pages on Facebook and other sites with fresh eyes, removing photographs or text that may be inappropriate to show to their grandmother or potential employers. Counselors are also encouraging students to apply settings on Facebook that can significantly limit access to their pages.

Melanie Deitch, director of marketing at Facebook, said students should take advantage of the site's privacy settings and be smart about what they post. But students may not be following the advice.

''I think students have the view that Facebook is their space and that the adult world doesn't know about it,'' said Mark W. Smith, assistant vice chancellor and director of the career center at Washington University in St. Louis. ''But the adult world is starting to come in.''

I say, if someone wants to put that all out there, then, hey, don't be surprised if people find it and read it.

J.

Freaky Ducks

I biked home after dropping off my 4Runner at Firestone, and I ran across a very ugly looking bird. I think it’s a duck. It’s kind of ugly. It freaked me out at 7:20 am on Saturday morning.