Ever since Christmas, I've been experiencing unstructured chaos with my time and schedule. Let me explain.

I don't do well with free time. I am definitely more productive when I have more things to do. For this reason, for the last 11-1/2 years, I've purposefully, or inadvertently kept myself pretty damn "busy."

The first five years were very busy with work: studying, getting qualified in my different duties and striking that fine balance of eking out some fun things (reading, movies, music) while being overwhelmed with work stuff.

The next five years were busy doing service work and getting heavily involved in program stuff: working with sponsees, having service commitments from ICYP Bid Committee jobs to home group treasurer, GSR, Area jobs, hitting a bottom spiritually, and working with my sponsors (one at a time). Then, there was always Hurricane Katrina that rolled through New Orleans. Also, there was Hurricane Dean. (Just kidding). I took two years off from dating, met a guy, dated, got engaged and married, and then divorced this past December. December 13, 2006 in fact.

I also started a full-time MBA program while still working November 2005.

All in all, up until the summer of 2005, I've been spinning around from one thing to another but being very productive in the meantime. And then I transferred to the DC area and I hit the proverbial brick wall. I been completely slacking in doing school work in a nice timely fashion. My Saturdays are reduced to spending the entire day avoiding school work and then starting a writing assignment that is due at midnight around 9 pm. This of course stresses me out but not enough for me to start doing the work earlier and handing in assignments at 4 pm and enjoying the rest of the weekend.

I'm still not completely unpacked and have all my pictures in boxes and not hanging up.

Anytime I have free time from work, I spend it watching TV (damn those Charmed reruns!), reading, possibly watching movies at a theater, and cuddling with the fur babies.

This causes me anxiety because I start thinking about everything I should be doing, and the entire weight of everything undone presses down on me, and all I want to do at that thought is climb into bed with the dogs and slide away into TV land where problems get resolved in 22 or 44 minutes (depending on the 30 minute or 60 minute show).

So despite taking three days of leave, and combined with my Regular Day Off, holidays, and President Ford's funeral, and getting a whopping 11 days off from work, I did absolutely nothing productive with my time and efforts. I'm so lame.